Introverts Have Nice Houses. A HOME TOUR - PART ONE
“Introverts crave meaning. So party chitchat feels like sandpaper to our psyche.” ~ Diane Cameron
I have a theory. And before we go even further, notice the “I” - meaning this is just MY theory and or opinion. I think that some of the best houses or places that I have been in, have been inhabited and created by an introvert. Before I told you all my theory, I had to do my background research. I wrote a list of the 20 spaces/houses that I love to ‘be’ in, the most. And decided to base upon my personal knowledge, if the owner was an introvert or extrovert. Nineteen out of twenty were introverts - BINGO. Our retreat space and its aesthetics, is the recharge to our batteries. And so we treat and treasure that space with respect. We put beautiful things on it. In it. “The thing to keep in mind is that introverts have limited resources when it comes to energy. Like batteries, we have to constantly recharge to feel energized, and that tends to be alone.” shares interior designer Rachel Cannon. “Our extroverted counterparts are like windmills — the more energy they expend, the more energized they feel. Things that energize them, like lots of activity, stimulation and lots of people. Which are the things that make introverts feel depleted.”
NOW. I can feel a very large portion of confused folks reading this and thinking “ummmmm Jenna (Plant Mama) you are so loud, enthusiastic, jumpy and excited-about-everything-kinda-gal.AS IF YOU ARE AN INTROVERT!!” Well, I am. Like most people we all go between the spectrum of introverted and extroverted tendencies, both containing strengths and weaknesses. I also think it’s an age thing. When I was younger I was more extroverted, more social. Or maybe I never had a home that inspired me or allowed me to be an introvert? Regardless I feel like the older I get, the more I like the concept of all things ‘less is more.’ Less human interactions, better choices with quality ones.
Back in ye olden days, obviously someone told someone who told someone that ‘introvert’ meant quiet and ‘extrovert’ meant loud. No bueno my friends, it is wrong. It is all about where your energy comes from, and then what takes it away. What zaps it POW - away! What exhausts you? Many things exhaust me but a few things exhaust me the most. Small talk burns my brain and I exit all these convos immediately, sometimes mid sentence. I am fully confident I have been called rude before, and no I am not proud of it. But HOLY SHIT - I could have meaningful conversations for 27 hours of the day. I’d give up sleep for a good quality chat and a deep thorough chin wag.
“I’m very picky with whom I give my energy to. I prefer to reserve my time, intensity and spirit exclusively to those who reflect sincerity.” ~ Dau Voire
I get exhausted from large crowds, hate mosh pits and prefer to work alone. I get bored at most parties that don’t involve my direct special sister-friends and a bottle of fine-ass tequila, but I am never bored alone. I thrive in creative pursuits - alone. In business things I am happy to be extroverted and work in small doses with others. Meaningful connection is where it is at for me. At the end of all days - I need hard core alone time. Could even be for an hour, but it must be had. Constructive solitude is what feeds my creativity, I have my best ideas when I am alone. And on huge/ginormous install weeks where I have clearly taken on way too much with 16 hour days, I need the highest form of alone time after. Do not EVEN come near me for two days. I don’t answer emails, texts or calls. I sleep, read, watch The Real Housewives series, speak to no-one, order Chicken Soup, drink wine, wear comfy clothes and put fresh linen sheets on. Sometimes I get a massage because hey - I don’t go out drinking a lot and a massage is money much better spent I say. And I recharge. I get back to level one so I can tackle the next wave of human interaction and energy expenditure that shall follow on.
Drew Barrymore sums it up “There is a tremendous difference between alone and lonely. You could be lonely in a group of people. I like being alone. I like eating by myself. I go home at night and just watch a movie or hang out with my dog. I have to exert myself and really say, oh God, I’ve got to see my friends because I’m too content by myself.”
Because when you live a creative life and you put your thoughts out there to be produced, it takes a lot of energy away from you. If you want to keep producing, keep creating and keep elevating to the next level, you must get to know thyself. You MUST understand how you recharge, how you fill that tank back up. How do you dedicate time to ensuring that tomorrow you wake up refreshed? Your work and its quality will reflect your ability to dutifully give the body back the energy you took from it. A stressful person and business owner attracts stressful business interactions and transactions. Newton's Third Law of Motion - for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, aka - you get back what you give. Correct recharge practice, calmer mind, calmer business.
Is your recharge going to dinner with a bunch of friends after a day of creating, or do you need Brene Brown books, Pana chocolate and an empty room? Or does the mood decide how you fluctuate between both?
“Bill Gates has said that introverts can be successful by recognising and taking advantage of their particular strengths. For example, take time to yourself to think and come up with ideas. Then, by combining those strengths with what extroverts do best (such as by hiring extroverts at your company), you can tap into both sets of skills to thrive. It’s also interesting to note that Gates is an introvert, but he’s not shy, which is a reminder that most people have some introvert and extrovert qualities that exist simultaneously.” Read more about famous introverts here.
I asked a few old friends if they would describe me as more introverted or extroverted. One old sister-friend so perfectly said I am “a heartwarming tornado that quickly breezes into any space, makes a fun fuss, wakes you up, and exits just as quickly as she enters it.” Followed by “But when you see this tornado settle down in her own company at the end of a day, and in her home, or on the backend of a European solo tour - she is her most genuine self. She’s slower, she’s more present, she has great ideas and she can sufficiently execute those ideas because she’s recharged her high energy batteries. She functions best in short bursts of social interactions. She will always leave a party at the most perfect time. And her beautiful home space reflects the respect she has for those recharge needs. Her career focus is creating spaces of refuge for people because she truly understands and appreciates the value found in being alone and inspired within a space.”
Rachel Canon says “The difference between ignoring the needs of the introvert in design and providing interiors that take our needs into consideration is that the latter empowers us to be the hero in our own narrative. Thoughtful design really can be that powerful, especially when it's about more than just the cache of using a particular fabric or the provenance of an antique. Introverts need their homes to reflect a place of recharge.”
So - other than telling you all that I think that I am an introvert with a nice house, I have other evidence. I just delightfully left a string of voice messages to my old-client-but-now-new-found-friend Jess yelling at her to tell me if she is an introvert because we are the same person and I could feel it in my waters that she was. Why is this important? Because she owns my most favourite house of ALL TIME. And she has the best house style of anyone I know. The art, the furniture, the vibe, the plants, the family, the sparkling water, the house layout, the daughter named Sunshine and my god the garden. The giant pink sculpture art that is outside. But not obnoxiously out in the front yard to show off to the neighbours (LETTUCE be honest, most Melbourne people love a brag) - but tucked away and to be quietly enjoyed from the bedroom. Just for them to see. JUST EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM IS INSPIRING AND GREAT. She has so perfectly maintained an original Modernist house and added some hardcore creative flavour. It would be the house I would choose amongst the many that I have been in. And trust me - I have seen some outstanding houses. Jess confirms back via audio message “I am a happy homebody. I like a small handful of special people. I don’t like big groups and I don’t need a lot of people around. All about quality.” I KNEW IT! Fabulous house, fabulous introvert. My waters are always right.
But you don’t need sparkling water and outside exquisite sculptures to nurture your space and build that recharge zone. Everything in my home is second hand, found amongst the many op shops finds and roadside pickups. The amount of furniture purchased from Nonna’s in Melbourne is outstanding and fabulous. Always sent home with a bucket of fruit. I have slowly built beautiful things into my home and into my space. These things help in those moments of solitude to inspire the next range of ideas. Or to just simply sit in a beautiful space to recharge, alone. To delight in my own thoughts. To me, nothing gets the creative juices flowing more than a beautiful space, a fresh coffee, a speaker with an attached playlist and, me.
This all finally loops around to my Home Tour, Part One. The last 3-4 months have meant that I have gotten to know every crack and crevice of my home intimately. Never have we ever spent this much time in our homes. And never have I fallen in love even more, with all the tiny pieces of knicks and knacks that fill each corner and morsel of space in my home. Filled with gifts by creative people that I love, and gifts (purchases) from strangers that I have never known, a creator behind each item. Consciously chosen to help me recharge. I’ve photographed this house slowly over the last week, following the light and where it enters each room at what time of day. I used an old 1960s Minolta P film camera, because film always shows you exactly how it is- no edits.
Instead of showing you everything at once, I’ll slowly reveal the different rooms over multiple posts. Because we got plenty of time and each room deserves its own space on the interwebs! I hope you enjoy le bedroom, a space of absolute delight.
I also WHOLEHEARTEDLY encourage you (if you haven’t already done so) to determine what helps to recharge your batteries. Whilst like me you could fluctuate too, understanding on a deeper level what you need will help you create a space that facilitates your recharge needs, will help in all of the little facets of your already fantastic life that is a’living! If you don’t know where you sit, this seems like a reputable source to find out, or do some of your own Google research. There is loads on the Intro/Extro discussion.
To end with one of my favourite writers Alain de Botton from one of my FAVOURITE books ‘The Architecture of Happiness’ - “We need a home in the psychological sense as much as we need one in the physical: to compensate for a vulnerability. We need a refuge to shore up our states of mind, because so much of the world is opposed to our allegiances. We need our rooms to align us to desirable versions of ourselves and to keep alive the important, evanescent sides of us.”
Love to you all and I hope your day is as nice as your asses!!!
P Mami xx
More music here
More about how introverts interact differently here
