Laterz Instagram
“When Social Media becomes a place where you start to share your negative thoughts or you become negative from other people’s posts, remove yourself before you ruin your reputation.”
Can confirm that my lovely home is the perfect social media detox centre.
I can confidently say that last week, I cracked it. And if I didn’t have a brand new laptop in my hand, I would have dead set chucked it out of the window in frustration. I am one of those people that is happy and whatevs 99.6% of the time. But when that .4% rises occasionally, I turn into the “snapping pencils” or “throwing a plate on the ground” kinda person in order to externalise the frustration. Then I instantly feel better and go back to dealing with the problem.
However this week no plates were dropped or pencils snapped. I decided on a less messy, “digital” snap. Figuratively ripping “instagram” off my phone. I know right - POWER MOVE. Especially from someone whose bizness legit functions because of Instagram. But where did this crazy, outlandish, rebellious move originate from you ask?
Dickhead trolls. Yes - those bored, sexually frustrated, bottom feeding humans who hide behind computer usernames on social platforms, ready and waiting to vomit their unhappy and ‘unsatisfied with life’ energy and vibes onto you. AND SIS THAT SHIT DOES NOT BELONG IN YOUR VORTEX. We have done too much inner work to be taken down by these “keyboard warriors.”
Now I hear ya Susie! Don’t let the bastards get you down. I am normally that annoying friend that sings “oh man who cares what others think/say/feel towards you! Just be you. Do you. You’re great! Fuck those guys!” but sometimes, those phrases just don’t work when it comes to yourself.
Eating tropical breakfast instead of eating morning socials bullshit
Normally you get a few of them every couple of months. People messaging you horrible things about either who you are as a person or something about your business. That is what apparently comes with having a larger social media following, you have to “expect it.” And I will confirm that although you realise that these people are full blown nuts and that there isn’t truth in what they are saying, it still sucks and it still hurts. But you delete and move on. Something is currently in the waterways at the moment because damn they came in HOT last week. Sooooo many online trolls sending me direct messages, and I wasn’t the only one in the firing line.
And it not only made me feel absolutely terrible, but the time I lost in replying and defending myself - was wild. I literally was watching myself in this cycle: reading the messages, getting super dooper mad, playing Kanye really loud and processing what it said, calling my friends to ask for reassurance that I wasn’t these things, then responding, then calling another friend, then spending all night thinking about if it’s true, then wondering at 3am if other people felt like that and didn’t tell me. TIME TIME TIME TIME. The trolls are taking my precious life time, and I wanna get it back.
If you are living in Melbourne too, social media has been pretty constant and consistent because, hello, we get two hours outside and we have been locked up for nearly two thirds of the year. What else are we doing? But I can recognise for me, it’s been a bit toooooo much.
Much like everyone else I watched the documentary The Social Dilemma, and it concerned me too. I also last week was shown for the first time my “screen time” and “iphone pick up” data - and I can confirm it seemed problematic. And whilst I can argue that I run a business mostly through my phone and through social media, it doesn’t mean I cannot reassess how I engage and also assess other ways of marketing and connecting with customers outside of these platforms that can be soooo exhausting and so taxing on self esteem.
OF COURSE - we should dedicate a few sentences to the positives of Social Media too. I created a job as an Interior Plant Designer that didn’t exist beforehand, and could do so because I had a photography business prior and an Iphone with an app. That’s all I needed to start marketing, and to grow marketing. It also has allowed me to connect to the most incredible people; across the world. My life is incredibly enriching because of the people that are in it, and a lot of those people are people I have met through P Mama, or through a connection on social media. My followers have lent me crutches, delivered food to my house when I was sick, sent me encouraging messages, presents and so on and so on. I have plant clients who found me on the gram and we liked each other so much that now we suck back Margaritas together and share secrets. It’s great. Instagram is and can be great. But we are reaching the seven year itch and I think we need some time apart.
Brene Brown’s books, ALL OF THEM, will blow your mind. Start with her TED talk on vulnerability on YouTube
and go from there. You - are - welcome.
What planned to be a few days off social media, is now going to be two weeks. I came to this decision two days into my detox, when I realised - HOW MANY EXTRA HOURS THERE ARE IN A DAY. How much more on task I can be without the distraction. How much brighter and easier it is to not meet the mornings with visual junk and online fake news. How not seeing other peoples projects and photos is inspiring me to create new ideas and new things in my own projects. How directing that previous social media time, effort and energy into self-love and self-care activities is honestly worth its weight in gold. I’ve finished books, made an amazing PUMP UP THE TYRES PLAYLIST, taken more time making nicer breakfasts, gone for longer walks, cleaned out cupboards that were WELL overdue and I’m finally (and slowly) responding to the 200 unanswered texts on my phone (eeeeeep love my friends who understand and still love moi!).
I am also reflecting back and asking myself some of the harder questions during these extra unaccounted for moments. It’s easier to have clarity and see forward without the noise and vision of others, and I could see that Instagram was impacting that vision.
“V” is for Vulnerability
To initially take 3-5 days off and now to make it two weeks of socials might seem a super teeny decision. But when you pretty much are currently making your money right now from an online shop, it could be temporary biz suicide. Unfortunately the numbers don’t lie - when I post and scream and yell at you all to buy my spag hats, you listen. You buy more. And when I am quiet on stories and don’t make an effort, you buy less. So taking two weeks off from screaming/marketing could cost me money, but no amount of money earnt from spag hats can repair a mental health takedown brought on from dickhead online trolls and negative Nancy’s.
Plant and Pasta Mama are still running, I haven’t evaporated into thin air. We will just be working on harvesting our creative juices for the next project, launching in a few weeks. To give myself a little project and to keep me on my toes, I am going to upload a blog post every night during my last week off the socials: 21st - 28th October. WHO KNOWS what they will entail, I am just going to write each day for a week and see what happens and what comes out. So play along there if you wanna read some things.
Sprouts enjoying the EXTRA cuddles due to lack of social addiction needs.
I will say for every troll there are one million legends sending me loving, joyous, positive, and fuzzy messages in my inbox. And I love and appreciate YOU ALL. I am sharing this in the hope that maybe you too, need a little reminder for a detox. Could be for a day, could be a weekend. And you don’t need to have online trolls present to make this decision. Maybe seeing all your mates in SUNNY Qld, Sydney and Byron sipping cocktails maskless on the beach on Instagram makes you want light your phone on fire. I get it. Any form of socials break must be good for everyone.
I plan on doing some big things with this time. Because already in the last few days big things have happened. It’s like all the energy that was directed to social media has been injected into my real life, and for the better. Time has never been as ever present, and more available. And trust me, it’s the first thing you will notice that you will have by the bountiful, by just doing a little temporary delete, and a disconnect.
Always is the way that I will be given the best book to read at the exact time that it should be read, and by one of my favourite authors. HONESTLY - any Brene podcast is fantastic too, her personality is sparky and spunky. I shall finish this entry with a quote I read at the very start of my current book, the perfect summary to those sitting in cheap seats.
To the cheap seat holders of the P Mama world: I hope you choke slowly on a bag of dicks. (Sorry Mum - had to be said).
“If you are not in the arena getting your ass kicked on occasion, I am not interested in or open to your feedback. There are a million cheap seats in the world today filled with people who will never be brave with their own lives, but will spend every ounce of energy they have hurling advice and judgement at those of us trying to dare greatly.
Their only contributions are criticism, cynicism, and fear-mongering. If you're criticizing from a place where you're not also putting yourself on the line, I'm not interested in hearing what you have to say”
- Brene Brown, Dare to Lead.
I HOPE THE DISCO FOUND YOU TODAY.
As did the light!
P Mami xx
As Mama Brene says: “fuck the haters: I am not the jackass whisperer.”